To be tongue-tied is to be invisible

Published on Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The fear of speaking is by far the number one fear of humans. And this is not just limited to public speaking on a podium or giving a presentation. The fear even manifests itself in day-to-day interactions where you find yourself clamming up when there is so much you could have said and even wanted to say!

This communication challenge often leaves shy people tongue-tied and melting into the background, as they prefer to silently listen to people around them rather than speaking up.

Well, such people might as well be invisible!

It could be overpowering anxiety or nervousness which makes it difficult for them to take part in a conversation, express ideas, answer questions about their work, justify their actions, ask for something, participate in a meeting/discussion, network with people and even interview for a job. In fact, some diffident employees have been known to pass up a promotion just because they would have had to interact with subordinates, conduct meetings and discipline staff.

Well, while you may be content with your tendency towards silence, remember that it can seriously inhibit your professional growth. It can also paint you as passive, aloof or even arrogant depending on a person’s interpretation. Moreover, with rampant recession, you may even find yourself at the top of the layoff list despite your loyalty/seniority as communication skills do form an important yardstick for your capabilities.

You have no choice but to become expressive and articulate. Self-expression is extremely important for you to be able to assert your abilities, make your efforts visible as well as gain respect and goodwill. It will help you to stand up for yourself, build a rapport and meet new people. In fact, “Having good conversation skills is like shining a flashlight on what is otherwise considered as a typical work routine day!”

Do it: Some people are naturally eloquent and can charm their way with anyone while most others have to work at it. You don’t have to become an exceptional orator, just learn to communicate effectively and be able to carry a conversation with different people from colleagues and bosses to clients and new people. Here are a few tips for the same:

• Face your fears; do not try to hide from them. Accept that you are afraid/anxious of speaking and then try to do something about it

• Make note of your communication patterns – like, do you feel more comfortable in a one-to-one situation. If you feel intimidated of talking in a group setting, try to create occasions to deal with people individually

• Preparing yourself in advance also helps to curb the panic and minimises the stress. Strategise an action plan of how you will deal with the situation, be it presenting a proposal, asking for assistance or defending yourself

• Visualise yourself as being successful. This may seem childish; but can actually reduce the nervousness

• Be prepared to wait, as timing what you say is important. Never butt into a conversation

• When the time comes, take a deep breath and force yourself to speak what you want to say

• When speaking, be honest, respectful, and firm and maintain eye contact. Project that you are speaking with confidence, even if you may actually be quivering inside

• Take the pressure off yourself; stop worrying about what people will think of you, as you are not here to impress others. Be relaxed, comfortable and just focus on what you want to say

• Make it a habit to make the first move by saying hello and smiling when you meet people. Take advantage of any opportunity to strike up a conversation with people

• Be interested in what people are saying and willing to share things about you. But do avoid phrases that make you seem arrogant or presumptuous

• You can even choose to read self-help books or take a short learning course

After all, good communication is an art that is acquired, developed and improved by experience! All you need is practice and determination.

PAYAL CHANANIA

Without authority, can you get work done?

Published on Wednesday, May 20, 2009

In this era of multi-disciplinary teams and cross-functional groups, it often happens that an employee is responsible for a special project or initiative but sans the accompanying authority.

In varying cases, you may have to deal with peers, superiors, vendors, suppliers or clients where there is no question of asserting authority or telling people what to do.

Even if you are working with subordinates, they may either not fall in your direct chain of command or not respond well to orders.

The inherent lack of a hierarchical reporting relationship often spawns responses like, “You are not my boss. Why do I have to listen to you?”

The bottom-line is that you cannot rely on the traditional authority to sail you through the project. Yet, you are still required to mobilise a group of people by gaining their invaluable assistance and co-operation.

This presents a grave challenge as how can you stimulate buy-in and support when people have other priorities and the tasks you are trying to ‘assign’ may even interfere with their regular duties.

Combine this with the looming possibilities of lack of motivation, ego clashes, brewing hostility and unending conflicts, and you will definitely feel that you are out of the running even before the project has got off the ground!

Well, contrary to common perception, a gap in your responsibility and authority level actually offers an excellent opportunity to excel. The trick is to simply learn to influence people without ever pulling rank.

Techniques that work: Non-authority situations call for new skills like diplomacy, tact and persuasion. You have to remain on the same plane with others regardless of your position, and not talk down to people, as it will only build resistance.

Do homework: It goes without saying that you need to have a thorough knowledge of the objectives and clearly understand what needs to be done (and how), but without making it too obvious.

Share vision: Try to establish open communication of the goals and objectives so as to create a shared vision and perception of the project. Concentrate on the purpose and message as you cajole and convince your way to building interest and gaining commitment.

Build team: Organising collective discussions, inviting involvement in the planning/decision-making process, seeking inputs, negotiating priorities and securing group consensus on the final choices will go a long way in creating an environment of mutual trust, respect and collaboration.

Also, regularly ask people for their opinions, insights and contributions to gain agreement with the overall objective.

Stroke ego: Always make it a point to value people by recognising their capabilities and skill sets. The trick is to stay humble and appeal to those around you for their expertise.

So, be indulgent with legitimate words of praise like, ‘I am told that you have done very well with this sort of thing in the past...’ ‘I understand that you are the best person for the job…’ or ‘this project is very important and I really hope that you will help me out with it…’

Never take charge: You may be accountable for the project, but this does not mean that you can force people or give orders to those outside your purview of authority.

In fact, doling out tasks will only raise hackles and create power struggles.

Rather setting a common goal and outlining what you need while giving people autonomy in accomplishing the tasks, generally accomplishes things better than if the same was ‘blatantly’ assigned.

Lead by example: Be more than willing to roll up your sleeves and get into the trenches rather than just standing by and supervising the work. Always work harder than others and be enthusiastic - you will definitely engage others to cooperate.

Celebrate victories: Create a sense of accomplishment and security by cheering good work and sharing credit every step of the way.

Openly admit your own mistakes while correcting others’ lapses with positive feedback and subtle suggestions.

And rest assured, you will gain quality work, support and remarkable results from an accountable, productive and creative team – a feat you could otherwise never have dreamed of. Moreover, as a top writer puts it, “Managing without authority is difficult, but there will be times when these things will be expected of you, take this as an opportunity to grow in your career.

After all, you will likely face it again.”

In fact, if Tom Sawyer had used these management tips, his friends would have done far more than just whitewash a fence!

PAYAL CHANANIA