Rejection is inevitable. It is part and parcel of the game; something that will happen some time or the other. Your ingenious idea is dismissed summarily, a covetous deal falls through or an ambitious project gets turned down. Else, you receive a harsh performance evaluation, get passed up for a promotion or even fail to land a dream job. The list is undoubtedly never-ending!
Such career rejection may come with the territory, but this does not make the ‘personal blow’ any easier to live down.
Needless to say, a rejected mindset is a terrible phase to be in. The trauma of endless hours of hard work being washed away with a callous ‘thumbs down’ is bound to take its toll.
The pain of rejection can leave a person feeling dejected, demoralised and finally devastated. Self-doubt creeps in as he starts seeing himself in an unworthy and unwanted light. This in turn, affects both his self-esteem and performance.
The humiliating sting of ‘being rejected’ can transform into a livid loathing as he rails, ‘How dare they reject me?’ Or, even depress him to the extent of calling it quits!
The sharp swings between self-pity, anger and depression only further prolong the recovery. And all is not over yet. The scars will be always there….
Well, who says life was meant to be easy. You must learn to cope with rejection so that you can snap back all the more faster. Here are a few tips on the same:
What went wrong - You are the best judge of yourself. Evaluate your own performance – was it up to the mark, were you thoroughly prepared. Try to judge where your faults lie and mentally prepare yourself for the negative reality.
Keep it in perspective - Never ever take a rejection personally. It only reflects on your work/performance, not on your value as a person. If you have to berate yourself, use ‘I am disappointed in my performance’ rather than ‘I am disappointed with myself’. Think about what you can gain from the ordeal, not what you have lost.
Indulge yourself - At the other end of the spectrum, always watch out as you can easily slip into a denial mode too. Try to ride out the wave of emotions by first acknowledging what you are feeling, why and when it will end. Vent your frustration, disappointment, anger and bitterness with family, friends or by yourself. Unbelievably, the ranting and raving can be therapeutic and reenergise you to move forward.
Bounce back - If you find yourself unduly wallowing in the negativity or continuously justifying the rejection, seek the support of friends, relatives and colleagues to pull yourself through. Exercising, indulging a hobby and taking good care of yourself can also help you overcome the pain. Worse come worse, there is no harm in seeking professional help also.
Rise like the phoenix - Do not let the rejection get you down or affect your performance and skills negatively. On the contrary, view it as an opportunity to improve. Once the sting subsides, build the inner strength that motivates you to new and better work. Regroup as quickly as possible and start making new plans and goals to prove yourself to everyone.
Learn your lesson - While you have to learn to accept the rejection with grace, do not quietly take it as your fate either. This is an opportunity for continuous improvement, leaning and growth.
Politely inquire the reasons why you were rejected. Also seek advice and guidance on what you should do differently to be more effective. Adopt the learnings and persist in improving yourself until you succeed the next time.
To sum up, you win some, you lose some. Rejection is nothing but one of the many obstacles lacing your career path. Once you develop strategies to take it in your stride, you can soon look back on the hurdles as stepping stones to even better things.
What’s more, you cannot stop taking chances just to avoid the risk of rejection. Get over the dreaded anxiety and resiliently survive the bumpier parts as every rejection brings you closer to ultimate success. All you have to do is accept, learn and move on.
So you got refused, so what! One bad inning does not lose the ball game. In the words of Yogi Berra, “It ain’t over until it’s over!”
PAYAL CHANANIA
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