Some people perennially live in the past. You might be one of them if you find yourself wistfully hankering after the good old days, constantly griping to the tune of, ‘in our times…’, ‘those were the days…’ or ‘way back then…’
You may constantly think about an old job, boss, way of doing things or even your college/childhood days and want it back very badly. Obstinately living in the past, you insist on working/behaving in the same way as before even to the extent of applying old solutions to new problems.
In short, such people live on the fringes of today as the past seems more real to them than the present. Therefore, they hang on to the memories with all their might and simply refuse to let go.Such an obsessive nostalgia is actually imprisoning and it leaves you incapable of handling the slightest change, be it even a shift in your cubicle location! You may reason that the bittersweet memories are quite comforting, but fact is that the fixated yearning can overcome your life leaving you both frustrated and unproductive. You alone stand to suffer as the undue negativity towards the present slowly robs you of all satisfaction and happiness. You also become lax; procrastinate everything and can even end up in depression. Prudence dictates that you should wake up and adjust to the present day by letting go of the past. After all, yesterday is history and no one can return to it or get it back. Especially during a rough patch like today, it makes sense to leave the past behind and get on with the future. To quote Alan Watts, “I have realised that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is!” The past is in fact good; it has moulded you into what you are today. Moreover occasionally going down memory lane can actually raise your spirits when the present is pulling you down. It is only when you reminisce too long and cling on to what has happened that can spoil the present.
So, remember that an all-pervasive nostalgia will only stagnate your life. Being stuck in the past is what is making you feel lost in the present. And you cannot and should not let the past steal your present. This is possible only when you consciously try to put the past behind you. Realise that the past is gone for good and it is pointless trying to get it back; this will just hinder your present even to the extent of affecting your work. Moreover, your longing is in fact a veiled attempt to escape from reality.
Then again, everything in the past always seems perfect because we subconsciously tend to obliterate the difficulties and remember only the good parts. This paints the past in an extraordinarily favourable light, which the present can never match up, no matter how wonderful it may be! Therefore to move forward, try to become free of the enslaving past, as it is the only way to go. Moving on to better things calls for a conscious decision to leave the past where it should be and rejoice in the present.
To change your perspective, start paying attention and become aware of what is happening around you. Do not be afraid of change but accept it as a constant and natural part of life. Be open and let new things enter your life. This will shift your mind out of the rut and enable you to experience new things. Optimistically looking for the positives in today and learning from them will also make you more empowered.
You will still have to control your thoughts from wandering to what or how you did things before and instead concentrate on what you want to do, where you want to go and what you want to accomplish. Even thinking long-term and planning for the future will fill you with motivation, gusto and zeal.
Besides, never ever make the mistake of judging what is happening today by the barometer of yesterday. It may seem difficult, but take heart in the wise words, “As lousy as things are now, tomorrow they will be your good old days!” So cherish the past but do not let it keep you from building new and beautiful memories for tomorrow. After all, the future is, in a sense, only memories that are waiting to happen!
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