Published on December 15, 2010
Difficult people abound everywhere, and more so in the workplace! They may just be loud, talkative, interfering, rude, whining or gossipy; else the obnoxious behaviour may range to being argumentative, manipulation, bullying or even backstabbing. Such irritating people can easily rub you the wrong way and if unchecked, lead to huge personality clashes. Alas, work is stressful enough without having to put up with such annoying co-workers.
Here are a few tips for survival.
Grin and bear it - It's a reality of work life that we cannot get along well with everyone everywhere. You just have to take a deep breath and patiently learn to work with all types of people. Try to build a reasonable attitude where you do not take the irritations personally and if possible, look for ways to work around the situation. For instance, if the person in the next cubicle routinely has loud conversations on the phone, what are headphones for?
An honest inventory – A seemingly annoying co-worker may make you gnash your teeth and clench your fists every time. But before pointing the finger outwards, think - is your reaction really warranted. For all you know, you may be the annoying one!
Keep your perspective – Do not allow yourself to fixate on the exasperating situation to the extent that it starts dominating your thoughts. In the end, it's not really worth it. Instead, try to understand what is triggering your reaction and look for ways to control the same.
At times, being a little more accepting and overlooking minor irritations alone can do the trick. It often happens that intentional attempts to annoy someone lose steam when they do not beget the expected reaction! Even adopting a light-hearted approach will enable you to see the humour in the most infuriating incidents and laugh it over with non-work friends.
Find a safer haven – It is advisable to focus on your job and avoid (or at least limit) personal contact with the annoying co-worker as far as possible.
For instance, if a colleague tends to get excessively chatty over coffee/lunch, try to schedule your breaks at a different time.
Or, if the co-worker in the next cubicle habitually plays loud music which is wreaking your concentration, try to shift your desk elsewhere.
Work things out – If the constant annoyance is really disrupting your work, something needs to be done about it.
Because suppressing even the small irritants over and over will intensify them into huge issues, leaving you on the edge of an imminent explosion. If you find yourself ready to snap, it is advisable to confront the guilty person and find a solution. But, do not rush in hot-headedly as it will only turn the situation into warfare.
Instead, sit down and voice your concerns in a positive and constructive manner. Keep your tone calm, polite and pleasant as you talk about how the actions affect you and offer suggestions on the same.
Be specific about what is bothering you and how it can be changed. Here it is important to avoid being critical by focussing on your own feelings and not blaming the other person. At times, simply clearing the air in a controlled, reasonable, positive and non-critical manner can do the trick, as chances are that the person may not even be aware of his annoying habits.
If all else fails - Yet, if you seem to have exhausted all approaches, the next step would be to warn the person and then approach higher-ups like your supervisor, boss or the HR department. Here, it is prudent to inform the authorities that you have tried your best to resolve the issue and this is the last resort.
If nothing seems to be working still and your work life has become truly miserable, you may consider changing jobs as the only option to remaining sane and productive! But remember that this is not necessarily the end, as annoying people will be waiting for you in the next job as well. As I said in the beginning, difficult people abound everywhere!
Payal Chanania
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