Published on May 25, 2011
It is often said that you will not find as many varied ‘characters' anywhere else as in the workplace! And with a mottled assortment under one roof, personalities are bound to clash all the more at work. Some can be mildly irritating or unpleasant while some others may be frustrating or offensive or even get under your skin and leave you fuming with anger.
Well, it is quite hard to get along with difficult colleagues in the best of times. But constantly harping on the annoyances will not make any difference. Yet, constantly pushing the wrong buttons can lead to stress, fury and even burnout.
Then again, you cannot afford to quit your job every time either, as ‘difficult' colleagues will follow you everywhere – just a different type the next time! So, when you cannot choose or change your colleagues, why not learn to deal with them….yes, even the most difficult ones.
Getting a finger on the pulse of the difficult people will help you to deal with them accordingly. It is the key to achieving workplace happiness, success and also maintaining your sanity!
Here's a take on the different kinds of colleagues and tips to get a handle on them that too without getting your dander up:
The chatterbox:This colleague is actually the best of the difficult lot. He is friendly and means well, but problem is that he is over-friendly and will talk, talk and talk all the time. If the incessant chatter keeps you from concentrating on your work, try to gently divert him saying that you would love to catch up on the talk at a free time like breaks and meals.
Die-hard gossip:He knows everything about everyone and then some more! And he loves to share it too. If it is work stuff, tuning in will keep you updated on the latest news, but you should know where to draw the line and absolutely refuse to listen to personal or inappropriate rumours. Whatever you do, never participate in the gossip yourself.
The whiner:This kind of person only knows one thing – to complain. He is never happy with anything and can find fault even in the best of things. The cynical nitpicking is completely unconstructive and advising the moaner will not do any good. You can either choose to listen in a neutral manner (if you are in the mood) or subtly steer clear of his ranting sessions.
The arguer:This colleague loves to argue all the time, even over the most rational issues and always has a problem with what others say. You should keep your cool while he lets off steam. Let him finish his arguments without interrupting and then offer your own two pence for what its worth. Like, “Your way of doing that procedure sounds terrific, but have you considered…?” If he still vehemently sticks to his views, instead of bickering just agree to disagree!
The stubborn streak:He is too set in his ways and not open to new ideas or even the smallest change. You can help him by introducing change gradually so that he can learn to accept it. If he is still not amenable, it is better to not do anything as sticking to his ways and failing will speak for itself!
The bully:This is the most common kind who uses high-handed tactics and aggressiveness to intimidate others and get his way. He is ready to explode at the slightest hint of confrontation. You have to be assertive and stand your ground in the face of his bullying. Tactics like remaining cool and detached or calmly walking away without any reaction is bound to deflate his belligerence.
The ego maniac:This is the self-centred and arrogant colleague who thinks everything revolves around him. He will constantly try to correct your wrongs and show you the ‘right way of doing things'. Have the courage to stand up for yourself by not letting him put you down or undermine your work.
The credit-stealer:This colleague craves the limelight. He resorts to stealing credit, belittling your contributions and presenting your opinions as his own – all in a bid to gain attention and importance. Confront him that you are aware of what he is doing and do not make the mistake of running your ideas by him again. Meanwhile, also maintain a record of your achievements and keep your manager in the loop as well.
The backstabber:This is the worst kind who talks ill about you behind your back to make you look incompetent or even bad. Driven by insecurity, he may even sabotage your work to keep you from succeeding. This is not the time to ignore the problem as it is very difficult to undo the effective damage. Confront him in private and state that you will not stand for such behaviour. He may deny it outright but will still be scared that you will point him out to others as well.
Apart from this, you will surely find many other difficult colleagues – the trick is to figure out what makes them tick and then respond tactfully without getting irritated, angry, intimidated or even defensive.
Generally, remaining calm, keeping an open mind and reacting maturely can go a long way in diffusing potential annoyances. For instance, you can request a group of chatting people, “Can you please go and talk down the hall?' rather than silently fuming over the disturbance.
Try to get to know your colleagues, build a rapport and treat them with respect instead of just getting worked up at the annoyance. Understand that most people are not deliberately being difficult. Instead of thinking that someone is out to get you, try to understand his motivations/problems that make him act this way and help resolve the same. As a career advisor points out “It might help to remember that difficult people often act as they do out of fear!”
Often, having a private conversation to reason with the difficult person and explaining your intentions can help clear the air.
Openly communicating may even make you realise that you are being difficult to others as well! But, sometimes ignoring the troublemaker and avoiding him as much as possible is the only thing that will work.
As a last resort, report to your manager that the colleague is making it very difficult for you to do your job. But only as the last resort!
Payal Chanania
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