Published on December 7, 2011
The maternity leave is up before you know it and very soon its time to return to work. And after weeks of nursing and diaper-changing, you are most probably looking forward to the adult company and normal duties even while dreading leaving behind the baby. But if you thought working during pregnancy was tough, you don't know what it's like to return to work (be it 3 months or 3 years) as a working mother!
Rejoining work requires careful planning that too starting long before the actual date of joining:
Stay current: You may be on maternity leave, but you still need to keep your skills updated and stay current. This is especially vital for those who are returning to work after a long gap.
Starting date: Be fair and practical when deciding when to rejoin as it can send your whole life topsy-turvy. If you have the liberty to pick a specific date, make it halfway through the workweek as it helps you get into the work routine slowly.
Support system: Your work stint cannot be successful unless there are solid and dependable childcare arrangements in place. Arrange for a family member, caregiver, and day care centre or choose the option of company on-site facilities to look after your child while you are away. Leaving your baby in trustworthy and capable hands is essential for your peace of mind.
Backup plans: Have alternative arrangements in place as backup for emergencies – the caregiver may take leave, the day care may be closed or your baby may fall sick.
Dry run: Practise a few trial runs before actually going back to work to give both yourself and your baby space to adjust to the new routine.
Once back on the job, don't expect to jump right in and carry on as earlier. Give yourself time to ease back into the work. It is an overwhelming time and the following tips can help:
Be upfront: Right at the start, discuss workload priorities, job duties and schedules with your boss. Try convincing the management for flexible hours, part-time work, telecommuting or job sharing (at least in the initial transition period for a gradual return). Your negotiating power is that it would cost them about 75-200% of your salary to replace you!
Breastfeeding: If you plan to continue breastfeeding, arrange to have the baby on-site/close by. Inform the employer about your decision and arrange to have suitably safe and private facilities available.
Balancing act: It's a constant juggle to balance work and family demands. You will perennially be short on time, energy and resources, not to mention low focus and concentration. This calls for determination, effort, efficiency as well as strong organisational skills to structure your work schedule around personal obligations and still stay in control as you meet all your commitments. Realistically accept that there will be limitations as well as ups and downs all the time. You have to ruthlessly prioritise.
A professional front: Remain positive and present a consistent attitude despite the overwhelming pressures. Work out coping strategies to tackle the taxing time.
Help is at hand: You don't have to be a superwoman and do everything yourself. Rather than stretch yourself too thin, accept help when proffered, be it a spouse, friend, colleague or boss. Do not hesitate to ask for what you want either!
Mommy-track: It's a sad fact for most working mothers – career and advancement opportunities suffer at the stake of the flexible arrangements, accommodations or sometimes just the ingrained prejudice! A highly successful working mother reports, “I was shocked to find that I was taken off the fast track and ‘mommy tracked' for the rest of my career….” You have to constantly drive home that you can still be efficient and successful.
Guilt trip: New mothers face immense emotional conflict and guilt over the selfish negligence of ‘abandoning' their newborn. As Manisha Kamath, Senior Product Manager in an MNC in Hyderabad laments, “Emotionally, leaving your baby in someone else's arms is heart-wrenching and brutal.
You want to be there when your baby does everything for the first time….” If you are struggling with the decision, it is advisable to put your doubts and feelings in perspective and always remember that working does not make you a bad mother. Take solace in this, according to the American Academy of Paediatrics, some children become more self-assured and independent when they have caregivers other than their parents! But do ensure that you give quality time and reconnect with the baby once you are home. And if you find yourself missing him/her too much – what's technology for… check in occasionally without overdoing it!
The blues: A working mother always has too much on her plate – caring for a child plus the constant burden/worries of the workload topped off by the identity crisis of whether to be a good employee or a good mother!
The aspirations and demands coupled with fatigue and guilt can do the best of us in, at times even to the extent of depression. A recent survey corroborates that full-time working moms experience far more stress and depression than those who are able to stay home with their babies! You need to steal some moments whenever possible to take care of yourself. Try connecting with other women colleagues and share tips/experiences or seek counselling, if needed. Above all, go easy on yourself as settling in will take time.
A prolific writer highlights, “Failing to balance both roles can cost a woman not only career success but also happiness at home!” Yet, you can succeed despite the odds and build a rewarding life as a working mother and still be there for your child!
Payal Chanania
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