CAN YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR BOSS?

Published on June 6, 2012

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Befriending and socialising with co-workers is one thing, but what about the boss? Again, being on good terms with the boss in the office is one thing, but what about hanging out with him after work?

Conventional logic dictates that it's better to keep a distance from the boss and avoid building potentially uncomfortable, improper relationships. Not only does befriending the boss cut away at their authority, but a perception of favouritism is bound to creep in soon enough.

Such friendships fall victim to malicious office politics and can also get the boss in trouble with the management!

It also blurs the lines and makes it difficult for both boss and employee to switch between the friendship/professionalism modes as and when needed.

It can be quite difficult to really see someone as a boss after becoming close friends. Hardly surprising then, as per a recent survey, only 21% of respondents are Facebook friends with their work supervisors, compared to 74 percent who aren't! Yet, feelings often have a way of defying the sanest of logics! Think when you work together for long hours on a harmonious footing, is it not inevitable that good friendships will blossom? What when you have common interests and complementary sense of humour?

Just like co-workers, out-of-hours friendship with bosses has the makings of some great work relationships. For one, it gives you a role model to look up to and motivates you to work much harder.

It makes work enjoyable and promotes loyalty as well. In fact, a professional HR consultant supports, “I actually encourage friendships between bosses and their employees. People like to work with people they like, and if you can develop a friendship with your boss, you'll want to be more productive. You'll want to work harder, and you'll probably want to stay in the company.”

Rising to the challenge

You can forge valuable, intimate and enjoyable connections with the boss. However, this friendship needs some definite and sensible rules as operating on unclear boundaries will surely set the odds against you. So, outline an explicit list of dos and don'ts right from the start.

Always maintain professional decorum and don't do anything that can embarrass you later. So, you can always have dinners, watch cricket or play football together, but never make the mistake of going on binge drinking or gambling expeditions.

Confiding intimate details or spilling other secrets is another bad idea. Keep your guard and be careful about what you speak as it can be used to judge your performance potential.

Maintain a genuine friendship and not just use it for expediency. Also, try and keep it low-key without boasting about your friendship in the office. Another point – never gossip with the boss about other staff members or discuss the boss' affairs with co-workers behind his back. Never ask the boss personal questions or offer needless opinions about the work either.

Keep the friendship strictly external and let it not impinge on the work. Remember, he is the boss first and has to be tough, give you orders, reprimand your behaviour/performance and can even fire you anytime. Do not take it personally or feel offended when he is just doing his duties.

You also cannot take him for granted and have to respect him and his position of authority. In other words, treat him as a boss and do the job expected of you! Keep the relationship on a fair footing. Do not build inappropriate expectations or unrealistic concessions like granting favours, sharing confidential information, ignoring blunders, shielding you for performance issues, standing up for you or according any kind of special treatment.

On the other hand, do be prepared that your genuine successes and progress can always be attributed to brown-nosing by jealous co-workers!

In short, continue to keep work relationships courteous, friendly and above all, professional.

And if at anytime you find yourself overstepping the boundary, move back immediately and keep the relationship primarily work-based.

To sum up, bosses are people too. And there's no reason why you cannot be friends with your boss as long as you both can remain professional in the working environment and know where to draw the line!

Payal Chanania