CAN YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR BOSS?

Published on June 6, 2012

For a link to the Hindu Opportunities please click here

Befriending and socialising with co-workers is one thing, but what about the boss? Again, being on good terms with the boss in the office is one thing, but what about hanging out with him after work?

Conventional logic dictates that it's better to keep a distance from the boss and avoid building potentially uncomfortable, improper relationships. Not only does befriending the boss cut away at their authority, but a perception of favouritism is bound to creep in soon enough.

Such friendships fall victim to malicious office politics and can also get the boss in trouble with the management!

It also blurs the lines and makes it difficult for both boss and employee to switch between the friendship/professionalism modes as and when needed.

It can be quite difficult to really see someone as a boss after becoming close friends. Hardly surprising then, as per a recent survey, only 21% of respondents are Facebook friends with their work supervisors, compared to 74 percent who aren't! Yet, feelings often have a way of defying the sanest of logics! Think when you work together for long hours on a harmonious footing, is it not inevitable that good friendships will blossom? What when you have common interests and complementary sense of humour?

Just like co-workers, out-of-hours friendship with bosses has the makings of some great work relationships. For one, it gives you a role model to look up to and motivates you to work much harder.

It makes work enjoyable and promotes loyalty as well. In fact, a professional HR consultant supports, “I actually encourage friendships between bosses and their employees. People like to work with people they like, and if you can develop a friendship with your boss, you'll want to be more productive. You'll want to work harder, and you'll probably want to stay in the company.”

Rising to the challenge

You can forge valuable, intimate and enjoyable connections with the boss. However, this friendship needs some definite and sensible rules as operating on unclear boundaries will surely set the odds against you. So, outline an explicit list of dos and don'ts right from the start.

Always maintain professional decorum and don't do anything that can embarrass you later. So, you can always have dinners, watch cricket or play football together, but never make the mistake of going on binge drinking or gambling expeditions.

Confiding intimate details or spilling other secrets is another bad idea. Keep your guard and be careful about what you speak as it can be used to judge your performance potential.

Maintain a genuine friendship and not just use it for expediency. Also, try and keep it low-key without boasting about your friendship in the office. Another point – never gossip with the boss about other staff members or discuss the boss' affairs with co-workers behind his back. Never ask the boss personal questions or offer needless opinions about the work either.

Keep the friendship strictly external and let it not impinge on the work. Remember, he is the boss first and has to be tough, give you orders, reprimand your behaviour/performance and can even fire you anytime. Do not take it personally or feel offended when he is just doing his duties.

You also cannot take him for granted and have to respect him and his position of authority. In other words, treat him as a boss and do the job expected of you! Keep the relationship on a fair footing. Do not build inappropriate expectations or unrealistic concessions like granting favours, sharing confidential information, ignoring blunders, shielding you for performance issues, standing up for you or according any kind of special treatment.

On the other hand, do be prepared that your genuine successes and progress can always be attributed to brown-nosing by jealous co-workers!

In short, continue to keep work relationships courteous, friendly and above all, professional.

And if at anytime you find yourself overstepping the boundary, move back immediately and keep the relationship primarily work-based.

To sum up, bosses are people too. And there's no reason why you cannot be friends with your boss as long as you both can remain professional in the working environment and know where to draw the line!

Payal Chanania

VOICE IN PRESENTATION

Published on June 6, 2012

For a link to the Hindu Opportunities please click here

Presentation skills are the sum total of your voice! Content matters for sure, but once that is taken care of, what is most important is delivery. In fact, the most innovative, interesting and top-notch material can fall flat if it is not articulated properly!

Voice is one of the most important tools that enables the speaker to express the essence of his thoughts, deliver a telling message and gives life to the presentation. It is what carries most of the content that the audience takes away. Else, you can be brimming with ideas but people will tune out all too quickly.

Most of us think that we speak reasonably well, but put on a stage we may just rush through the presentation at top speed, stutter around and end up gasping for breath. Others may sound high-pitched, frail, squeaky, and panicky or just drone on boring the audience to tears.

Contrast this to popular speakers who speak with such ease in a measured voice that seems to effortlessly inject thoughts and ideas into the minds of the audience – be it small or large. How do they manage to touch hearts and disturb minds in such a way? It is all in the power of the voice – that which can conjure up fantastic images to express the speaker's meaning as well as wow the entire world!

For a sonorous orator

Voices need practice, practice and some more practice so that they can get past the initial discomfort and hold up under pressure. Throat muscles and vocal cords are obviously unaccustomed to such demands and need numerous preparatory runs.

Start by getting used to hearing your voice. Try talking out aloud in an empty room or record yourself when speaking and you will be surprised by the unnatural loudness of your voice. Remember you will have to speak louder when there is an audience as bodies absorb sounds and have a muffling effect.

Attempt to project your voice in such a way that it has carrying power and gets across to everyone. For this, you will have to be at ease and intend to be heard. In fact, top presenters are those who intend to be heard and will be heard!

Moreover, as Janet Howd, a leading voice coach advises, “When you practise to deliver a convincing message, speak as if you are on a mobile phone in a noisy area. You will discover that by intending to be heard you automatically achieve the vocal pitches and volume necessary to connect you to your anticipated, real audience!”

Learn to control your breath and breathe out fully before breathing in deeply. The deep breath will activate your voice and help you to speak out loudly. Most importantly, speakers have to control the tones of voice so that spoken words are understood the way they are meant to be. Practice pronouncing words distinctly with crisp consonants and strong vowels to both increase your audibility and make your meaning crystal clear. Soften any sharp accents as far as possible.

Learn to modulate the volume (raise to make a point and lower to draw the audience in), vary the pace (slow when emphasising and fast when skimming over something) and alter the pitch (low when serious and high to generate excitement). Build in regular pauses as moments of silence when the audience can calm down, clean their palate and prepare for a new idea or change of mood. The pause also gives you a much-needed respite to catch your breath, think over what you will say and articulate better. Endeavour to add warmth and rhythm to your words as well so that people can believe and connect with what you are saying. Also, sip water at regular intervals to avoid your voice getting dried out.

Keep in mind that voice training under a professional too can help you develop a clear, fluent, vibrant and healthy voice. Along with the voice, posture needs working as well. Startling as it may sound, voices necessitate bodily support, so holding your back and shoulders upright, knees slack with feet a little apart and firmly on the ground, face and neck titled at the right angle will add power to your voice as well! This firm stance needs effort and training as well. You also have to speak with confidence as even internal squirming or discomfort will get amplified to the audience.

Another tip from Ms. Howd, “Let voice do most of the communicating and use only small amounts of pertinent visual aids!” So, polish up your oratory skills and go ahead and have your say.

Payal Chanania