THIS `CANCER' is worse than practically anything else you may encounter in the workplace. It spreads like an epidemic and is even more daunting than the latest `chikungunya' disease doing the rounds. The incidence saps energy, dampens confidence, busts morale and cripples performance. In fact, HR and organisational experts contend that this is one of the top reasons why companies lose valuable employees.
This ailment is the seemingly innocuous `whining' bug that bites many an employee. Rabid and unrepentant whiners endlessly complain that nothing is right and want everyone to share their misery. With a self-obsessed streak, they concentrate solely on their problems and are not above inventing macabre problems where none exist. As Amy Kopelan, president of COACH ME Inc., New York, highlights, `Whining is really about complaining about something that isn't fair. Your office is too small, the lighting is bad, so and so has a better opportunity - whatever it is that makes the focus less on the business at hand and more on how you are being treated.'
Alas, such insidious whining not only hampers the perpetrators' work and makes them miserable, but also takes a depressive toll on everyone else in their vicinity. The relentless drone of, `This is such a terrible place to work', `I am sick of my job', `The management is upto no good'... ... . dulls a rosy scenario turning the best opportunity into the worst job possible. Colleagues start thinking on the same lines and believe in the grumbles and disappointments, against their better judgment.
In fact, some aggressively competitive employees use such behavioural tactics as a power game to recruit more whiners. They lurk in the shadows primed to prey on a co-worker's gullibility. By dishing out an over-the-top litany of workplace frustrations, they slowly spread discontent and demoralise `satisfied' colleagues. This creates a `forced' frustration with an erstwhile satisfactory job profile, pay, management or procedures in impressionable minds who may even quit a promising and rewarding job under the contagious influence. Unfortunately, they comprehend the manipulation only after it's too late.
Busting the whine
If your colleague in the next cubicle spends the better part of the day complaining, here's how to fight off the infectious virus from ruining your career:
- Compassionately hear out the whiner's fears and acknowledge his feelings without supporting the misconceptions. Try to reassure him with an appropriate, `Things will be okay'.
- Do not be pulled into unnecessary commiseration by relating similar feelings or experiences; it will simply give him additional fodder to influence your mind! Laugh off the `ramblings' in private.
- Once he has voiced his frustrations, direct the conversation towards exploring reasons and solutions. Show that you will not tolerate needless grumbling if he is averse to improving the situation.
- If he tries to change your thinking to convert you into a similar nit-picker, end the discussion pronto. Do not take the negative comments personally; categorically refuse to accept them as applicable to yourself. As George Foreman rightly said, `I let negativity roll off me like water off a duck's back. If it's not positive, I don't hear it!'
- Remain upbeat, objective and confident with a positive self-image. A strong support system and belief in your own worth will keep you from being drawn into mimicking the moaning.
Jumping onto the bandwagon
It is perfectly right to get angry, upset, frustrated or depressed once in a while. Venting such feelings is in fact cathartic. However, the issue gets out of hand when all one does is whine all the time.
- You may go blue in the face denying that you are one such perpetual whiner, but remember that it is imperative to check your own act first before stopping others from whining in the workplace.
- Remember that you cannot work by feelings and actually get less work done by whining. Also, not only does carrying on about minor issues sound ridiculous, it reveals inherent insecurities and inadequacies too.
- It's all in the mind. A heightened sensitivity blows perceived problems and injustices out of proportion making you feel trapped. As Tim O'Leary says in Warriors, Workers, Whiners, & Weasels, "A whiner's cup always tastes bitter and is at least half empty".
- Constant nagging is quite insufferable and will drive away colleagues. Moreover, you may fall into your own trap as the whining habit spills over into the personal life annoying friends and family too.
- Learn to be in control of yourself and take minor difficulties in your stride. Don't make yourself miserable by contemplating inconsequential matters.
- Deal with the reality of problems and move on; don't let them take over your life.
- Voice complaints only if you will offer suggestions or solutions and are open to improvements.
- Build the fortitude to master your destiny with optimism and spread your positivism for a change.
Stop it
Whining in the office is fast becoming a strict no-no as employers wake-up to its detrimental effects.
A German company, Nutzwerk GmbH, has made cheerfulness a contractual obligation by initiating a strict no-whining policy. As company-head, Herr Kuwatsch, explains, "We made the ban on moaning and grumpiness at work after one female employee banged on so much about just about everything that other staff began to complain about her complaining. Now, mood is an important factor in productivity and everyone here works hard and is happy". And very soon, other companies will follow suit!
PAYAL CHANANIA
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