Published on Jan 5, 2011
You are super-excited about a novel plan to help your team move forward or eagerly offer a suggestion to solve a looming problem. Else, you are absolutely gung-ho about successfully winding up a tough project or closing a monumental deal.
Just as you begin to express your passion and enthusiasm, round comes a co-worker brimming with negative comments that disparage your ideas and undermine your hard work.
The negativity literally douses you in ice-cold water!
Unfortunately, the workplace has its share of cynical people who always rush in to tell you why your ‘idea will not work', ‘things will not change', ‘plan is out of budget' or ‘goal impossible to achieve'. They are more than ready to douse you at every opportunity with criticism, sarcasm, harsh/angry responses and even outlandish remarks or simply by rolling their eyes eloquently.
What's more, they pour cold water with such conviction that it effectively stops others from believing in or even being excited about your ideas. Your possibly brilliant solution dies an abrupt death and disappears into oblivion. Over time, this constant derision can trap you and kill your optimism forever!
It is quite understandable that you start feeling despondent as co-workers pour cold water on your ideas all the time. Yet, it makes sense that you do not give up without a fight. So here's how to fight back:
Recognise shortcoming: Realise that in this dog-eat-dog world of work, people will persistently try to make themselves look good at your expense. Deliberately belittling your ideas, plans and suggestions is a strategy to climb all over you and get ahead. Even if someone seems to derive a perverse pleasure from the act, understand that the pessimism is his personality shortcoming, not yours.
Prepare in advance: You know that cold water is in the offing; so why not plan for it accordingly. List the common and prevalent comments that people in your office habitually use to dampen others' suggestions.
Then carefully prepare smart and witty answers that will not only silence the critics but also sell them on your idea.
Be yourself: When a colleague tries his best to minimise your creative ideas, never ever make the mistake of keeping quiet or accepting his criticisms meekly. In fact, this is a providential chance to sell your idea further. But before you proceed, first pause to take a deep breath and adopt a pleasant and rational outlook. Then calmly counter the ridicule by asserting the facts once again and provide persuasive answers to even the most illogical comments. Concentrate on how you are sure the idea will work and why it is feasible while showing other alternatives that are also worth trying.
Encourage the detractors to open their minds and analyse the problem as well as consider your suggestions thoroughly. You can even try to persuade them to step out of their comfort zone and start thinking in terms of how to make the idea work!
Talk it out: Be upfront and confront the perpetrator that you are very well aware of his devious intentions. Courageously speak up like, “I have an issue with you constantly pouring cold water on my ideas. I would like it if you don't try to shut me down every time. What are your thoughts?” Airing the issue may very well make him mend his ways.
For all you know, there may be other silent sufferers who are putting up with such deliberate discouragement. Seek to team up with them as they too may be annoyed enough to back you up.
The last resort: If you have tried everything and nothing seems to work, the only option is to address the problem with the higher-ups. Point out that people are purposely trying to dampen any suggestions regardless of the merit. Explain that such behaviour is stifling creativity, motivation and productivity while spreading defeatism everywhere. Addressing the problem is essential for making the team more effective.
Yet, think again whether the seemingly negative comments are actually realistic and practical while you are unwittingly going overboard with far-fetched and implausible excesses. To sum up, its up to you to combat the cold water comments with warmth and optimism!
Payal Chanania
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