IT IS ALMOST closing time and you are seriously working on a project to complete it when your friends cajole you to go out with them for a drink. "Come on! You can complete the work tomorrow. All of us are leaving early today. Let's go!" You debate wondering if it will look nice if as usual you are the one to refuse. Is it any surprise that one of your names in the office is `wet sock"? You seem to have no choice but to give in to your colleagues' demands. Does the situation seem familiar?
Well, if you thought peer pressure ended with your college days, you are wrong. It is very much prevalent even at your workplace. As we spend most of our time at work we are bound to have our friends too from the workplace with whom we socialise after work hours. Everything is fine as long as individual behaviour and thinking gels with the group tendencies. But problems crop up when you want something different from what your colleagues want or do.
This is when you feel the impact of negative peer pressure. Do the accepted thing or get out seems to be the unwritten rule. The `cajoled' employee goes with the flow instead of saying no.
Contrary to popular belief, defying a bully is a tad easier than resisting the pressure put by friends or colleagues. Peer pressure is a different ballgame altogether. After all, everyone wants to be liked and feels the need to fit in, to have a sense of belonging. The sense of security that comes with this feeling of belonging makes one give in to peer pressure as opposed to the fear of mockery and isolation that comes with trying to be different.
If you find yourself faced with this dilemma - to do what is right or follow what others are doing, consider these pointers before making a decision:
Not always a bad thing - Peer pressure has positives too. You may feel pressured to work harder and perform better in the company of diligent and industrious colleagues, which is a good thing.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do - You have to work in close coordination with your group of colleagues. So, give in to small pleasures once in a while as long as your work is not affected.
`It ain't over till it's over' - If you find yourself doing something that goes against the grain, think about the effects before blindly following group norms. Will you be able to live with yourself after committing the deed? And, as the final decision is yours, only you will have to take the rap for it. Watch out, as sometimes even your job may be at stake.
It's all in the mind - Many times colleagues will respect your decision and still remain friends with you. As someone said, `No one can make you feel inferior without your consent'.
Doing the unthinkable: Saying `NO'
It is indeed tough to say `no' to peers but you can do it. Moreover, when you choose to refuse, it is how you say it that counts.
2. Refuse politely in a calm and discreet manner. Steer clear of confrontational or argumentative overtones to avoid offending others in the group.
3. Do not turn it into a sermonising session. State your excuses or reasons and change the subject or simply walk away. But, be assertive enough to show that you will stand by your opinion.
4. Adopt a non-judgmental stance; do not express disdain for others' choices.
5. Explain that you can and want to remain friendly with colleagues even though you do not agree with their activities.
6. Go a step ahead and give suggestions if your colleagues display a willingness to listen.
7. You can even subtly try to exert pressure of your own to do the right thing.
Moral of the story
What you believe should dictate what you do. Inculcate a strong set of personal values and let your feelings and beliefs dictate your actions. Build the inner strength to stand firm and resist doing something when you know better. Choose to follow your instincts; it will definitely lead you in the right direction.
As the legendary baseball champion, Yogi Berra once said, `don't always follow the crowd, because nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.' So, resist peer pressure, stay an individual!
Well, if you thought peer pressure ended with your college days, you are wrong. It is very much prevalent even at your workplace. As we spend most of our time at work we are bound to have our friends too from the workplace with whom we socialise after work hours. Everything is fine as long as individual behaviour and thinking gels with the group tendencies. But problems crop up when you want something different from what your colleagues want or do.
This is when you feel the impact of negative peer pressure. Do the accepted thing or get out seems to be the unwritten rule. The `cajoled' employee goes with the flow instead of saying no.
Contrary to popular belief, defying a bully is a tad easier than resisting the pressure put by friends or colleagues. Peer pressure is a different ballgame altogether. After all, everyone wants to be liked and feels the need to fit in, to have a sense of belonging. The sense of security that comes with this feeling of belonging makes one give in to peer pressure as opposed to the fear of mockery and isolation that comes with trying to be different.
If you find yourself faced with this dilemma - to do what is right or follow what others are doing, consider these pointers before making a decision:
Not always a bad thing - Peer pressure has positives too. You may feel pressured to work harder and perform better in the company of diligent and industrious colleagues, which is a good thing.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do - You have to work in close coordination with your group of colleagues. So, give in to small pleasures once in a while as long as your work is not affected.
`It ain't over till it's over' - If you find yourself doing something that goes against the grain, think about the effects before blindly following group norms. Will you be able to live with yourself after committing the deed? And, as the final decision is yours, only you will have to take the rap for it. Watch out, as sometimes even your job may be at stake.
It's all in the mind - Many times colleagues will respect your decision and still remain friends with you. As someone said, `No one can make you feel inferior without your consent'.
Doing the unthinkable: Saying `NO'
It is indeed tough to say `no' to peers but you can do it. Moreover, when you choose to refuse, it is how you say it that counts.
2. Refuse politely in a calm and discreet manner. Steer clear of confrontational or argumentative overtones to avoid offending others in the group.
3. Do not turn it into a sermonising session. State your excuses or reasons and change the subject or simply walk away. But, be assertive enough to show that you will stand by your opinion.
4. Adopt a non-judgmental stance; do not express disdain for others' choices.
5. Explain that you can and want to remain friendly with colleagues even though you do not agree with their activities.
6. Go a step ahead and give suggestions if your colleagues display a willingness to listen.
7. You can even subtly try to exert pressure of your own to do the right thing.
Moral of the story
What you believe should dictate what you do. Inculcate a strong set of personal values and let your feelings and beliefs dictate your actions. Build the inner strength to stand firm and resist doing something when you know better. Choose to follow your instincts; it will definitely lead you in the right direction.
As the legendary baseball champion, Yogi Berra once said, `don't always follow the crowd, because nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.' So, resist peer pressure, stay an individual!
PAYAL CHANANIA
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