HOW MANY times have we heard people tell us, `Always look at the bright side of things' or `Think positive to get ahead'? Psychologists and management gurus alike vouch for having an upbeat and optimistic outlook to get ahead in life. This is because when we are optimistic, we expect to succeed. Consequently we expend greater efforts and ultimately realise our goals. But this tendency to be always optimistic can sometimes prove to be a setback to progress. Barbara Held, psychologist and author of the book, `Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching', labels this penchant to be always optimistic as, `the tyranny of the positive attitude'.
When everything's always fine...
Well, everything is not and cannot be fine and fantastic always. Assuming that only the best will happen can blind people to harsh realities. Optimistic persons can underestimate problems, overestimate their strengths and are generally incapable of perceiving or accepting the truth. As Professor of Psychology Julie Norem , in her book, `The Positive Power of Negative Thinking' states, `Being constantly upbeat can lead to a tendency to think in a quick fix kind of way. Careful analysis might make us think about more negative factors, which we don't want to do.'
Being perennially optimistic especially with issues related to work need not be a wise strategy always. For instance, expecting top results from a doomed-from-the-start project is like setting yourself up for imminent failure. And, when plans collapse, optimistic people are generally ill equipped to cope with the consequences.
Viewing the world with rose-tinted glasses can make one incapable of exploring the doubts and fears in one's mind, which can manifest in the future. If one is blind to negative factors, one is also unprepared to face them. Moreover, being an irrepressible optimist can sometimes make one an object of ridicule for others. They will dismiss such naiveté as, `don't ask him. He will just grin and tell you that everything is going to be okay.'
Tune into reality
It is time to get real. People have to let go of their wishful thinking and make a conscious attempt to be honest with themselves. They should counterbalance their over-optimism with a solid dose of realism. As writer, Tom Terez puts it, `A stiff breeze of reality is more useful than sunny optimism'. While it is good to be optimistic, it is equally wise to balance it with a firm grounding in reality. Some pointers to achieve this balance:
1. Try to be consciously realistic and tone down your expectations with pragmatism
2. Always do an analysis of events, evaluate your assumptions and be thoughtful when responding to situations
3. Acknowledge extenuating circumstances that are beyond your control
4. Try to anticipate potential problems beforehand as things have a tendency to go wrong
5. Preparing yourself for the worst will empower you to be in total control of whatever happens
6. Give an honest input, feedback or appraisal when asked for, instead of blindly putting a sunny side to things
7. Do not let over optimism overshadow your worries. Acknowledge and express your frustrations, doubts and regrets instead of brushing them away. Then try to beat the odds with a can-do attitude
Balance is everything
In his book, `Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life', Dr. Seligman says, `There is considerable evidence that pessimists, despite all their problems, are more accurate judges of reality than optimists'. However, this does not mean that one should be negative and give a pessimistic twist to everything. It calls for mastering both sides of the coin with a balanced view, i.e., healthy optimism hand in hand with constructive negativity.
So, instead of disconnecting from reality by being over optimistic, always weigh the possible risks in any situation and perceive the inherent opportunities and obstacles. This levelheaded outlook will help you to deal with problems and put them behind you with a `things will get better' perspective.
Remember, it is good to be optimistic but not to such lengths that you lose touch with reality.
When everything's always fine...
Well, everything is not and cannot be fine and fantastic always. Assuming that only the best will happen can blind people to harsh realities. Optimistic persons can underestimate problems, overestimate their strengths and are generally incapable of perceiving or accepting the truth. As Professor of Psychology Julie Norem , in her book, `The Positive Power of Negative Thinking' states, `Being constantly upbeat can lead to a tendency to think in a quick fix kind of way. Careful analysis might make us think about more negative factors, which we don't want to do.'
Being perennially optimistic especially with issues related to work need not be a wise strategy always. For instance, expecting top results from a doomed-from-the-start project is like setting yourself up for imminent failure. And, when plans collapse, optimistic people are generally ill equipped to cope with the consequences.
Viewing the world with rose-tinted glasses can make one incapable of exploring the doubts and fears in one's mind, which can manifest in the future. If one is blind to negative factors, one is also unprepared to face them. Moreover, being an irrepressible optimist can sometimes make one an object of ridicule for others. They will dismiss such naiveté as, `don't ask him. He will just grin and tell you that everything is going to be okay.'
Tune into reality
It is time to get real. People have to let go of their wishful thinking and make a conscious attempt to be honest with themselves. They should counterbalance their over-optimism with a solid dose of realism. As writer, Tom Terez puts it, `A stiff breeze of reality is more useful than sunny optimism'. While it is good to be optimistic, it is equally wise to balance it with a firm grounding in reality. Some pointers to achieve this balance:
1. Try to be consciously realistic and tone down your expectations with pragmatism
2. Always do an analysis of events, evaluate your assumptions and be thoughtful when responding to situations
3. Acknowledge extenuating circumstances that are beyond your control
4. Try to anticipate potential problems beforehand as things have a tendency to go wrong
5. Preparing yourself for the worst will empower you to be in total control of whatever happens
6. Give an honest input, feedback or appraisal when asked for, instead of blindly putting a sunny side to things
7. Do not let over optimism overshadow your worries. Acknowledge and express your frustrations, doubts and regrets instead of brushing them away. Then try to beat the odds with a can-do attitude
Balance is everything
In his book, `Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life', Dr. Seligman says, `There is considerable evidence that pessimists, despite all their problems, are more accurate judges of reality than optimists'. However, this does not mean that one should be negative and give a pessimistic twist to everything. It calls for mastering both sides of the coin with a balanced view, i.e., healthy optimism hand in hand with constructive negativity.
So, instead of disconnecting from reality by being over optimistic, always weigh the possible risks in any situation and perceive the inherent opportunities and obstacles. This levelheaded outlook will help you to deal with problems and put them behind you with a `things will get better' perspective.
Remember, it is good to be optimistic but not to such lengths that you lose touch with reality.
PAYAL CHANANIA
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