PLATO ONCE said man is a social animal. How true. We are creatures with an inherent need to share information. This intrinsic disposition is pervasive and extends to our work environment as well.
We spend most of our waking hours at work. Not only do we share breaks and lunch hours with colleagues, but sometimes also socialise outside the office. This creates a familial atmosphere that nurtures friendships and boosts the exchange of confidences. After all, it is tough to keep to yourself all day, isn't it?
The question of whether you should or should not share personal matters with colleagues is highly debatable. As with every issue, it has a number of merits and demerits. Sharing amusing anecdotes of your kids or your personal activities with co-workers is an expected occurrence. It is quite normal that you let them know that your son has fallen sick, that you have recently shifted to a new house or that you plan to purchase a new car. This bonhomie helps in cementing ties, and creates a spirit of harmony. It is the harbinger of positive interaction and strong interpersonal relationships.
In fact, support from your co-workers can serve as an anchor in times of personal turmoil. Psychologists abide by the fact that when faced with a tough situation, talking about it to a dependable or neutral person can be quite therapeutic.
Points to ponder
To save yourself from potential disaster, it is imperative to know when and where to draw the line. Bear in mind the following before opening the doors of your private life.
When a secret is at stake - The workplace abounds with malicious people who relish poking fun at other people's lives. It is often said, `If you don't want to hear it in the neighborhood pub, don't mention it around the water cooler.' So, when you are tempted to disclose something that is best-left secret, choose someone who is trustworthy. Else, be prepared to find your confidential information posted on the office grapevine.
When your Achilles' heel is in question - Being open and frank is a good thing. But be judicious about what you reveal and to whom. Closely guard information that highlights your weaknesses. It will undermine your strength and control and could be detrimental to your career. Better safe than sorry like they always say.
When the going gets tough - It is close to impossible to always keep personal problems out of your mind. Sharing your plight does help. It helps you vent frustration and let off some steam. But you need to be prudent about who you talk to. As an expert suggests, `If it is a thing of pride, go ahead and share the joy. If it is a problem, keep it to yourself unless you find someone you trust to keep a confidence'.
Be discreet and go easy on details. For example, you could tell your co-workers you're heading for a divorce without going into details. Washing your dirty linen in public could also cut your chances of a promotion. If word of your troubles gets around, the employer may feel that you may get sidetracked and edge you out of the contenders' list.
Choose wisely to live well - Make sure that you can really trust your colleagues to support you. `Great listener, honest and will never break a confidence', form the criteria for a trust-worthy colleague who you can talk to. However, this does not mean you should spend hours discussing the nitty-gritty of your private life. Remember that your primary concern is your work.
Heed the unwritten code - Study the work culture of your office. Some companies have an inherent cutthroat atmosphere where you cannot rely on anyone. Andrew Lawrence, working in a law firm in Seattle, remarks, "If you share anything personal, it gets all over the office and it's used against you in every way imaginable."
There is a thin line between what can and cannot be disclosed in the office. Ultimately, you are the one who has to decide.
We spend most of our waking hours at work. Not only do we share breaks and lunch hours with colleagues, but sometimes also socialise outside the office. This creates a familial atmosphere that nurtures friendships and boosts the exchange of confidences. After all, it is tough to keep to yourself all day, isn't it?
The question of whether you should or should not share personal matters with colleagues is highly debatable. As with every issue, it has a number of merits and demerits. Sharing amusing anecdotes of your kids or your personal activities with co-workers is an expected occurrence. It is quite normal that you let them know that your son has fallen sick, that you have recently shifted to a new house or that you plan to purchase a new car. This bonhomie helps in cementing ties, and creates a spirit of harmony. It is the harbinger of positive interaction and strong interpersonal relationships.
In fact, support from your co-workers can serve as an anchor in times of personal turmoil. Psychologists abide by the fact that when faced with a tough situation, talking about it to a dependable or neutral person can be quite therapeutic.
Points to ponder
To save yourself from potential disaster, it is imperative to know when and where to draw the line. Bear in mind the following before opening the doors of your private life.
When a secret is at stake - The workplace abounds with malicious people who relish poking fun at other people's lives. It is often said, `If you don't want to hear it in the neighborhood pub, don't mention it around the water cooler.' So, when you are tempted to disclose something that is best-left secret, choose someone who is trustworthy. Else, be prepared to find your confidential information posted on the office grapevine.
When your Achilles' heel is in question - Being open and frank is a good thing. But be judicious about what you reveal and to whom. Closely guard information that highlights your weaknesses. It will undermine your strength and control and could be detrimental to your career. Better safe than sorry like they always say.
When the going gets tough - It is close to impossible to always keep personal problems out of your mind. Sharing your plight does help. It helps you vent frustration and let off some steam. But you need to be prudent about who you talk to. As an expert suggests, `If it is a thing of pride, go ahead and share the joy. If it is a problem, keep it to yourself unless you find someone you trust to keep a confidence'.
Be discreet and go easy on details. For example, you could tell your co-workers you're heading for a divorce without going into details. Washing your dirty linen in public could also cut your chances of a promotion. If word of your troubles gets around, the employer may feel that you may get sidetracked and edge you out of the contenders' list.
Choose wisely to live well - Make sure that you can really trust your colleagues to support you. `Great listener, honest and will never break a confidence', form the criteria for a trust-worthy colleague who you can talk to. However, this does not mean you should spend hours discussing the nitty-gritty of your private life. Remember that your primary concern is your work.
Heed the unwritten code - Study the work culture of your office. Some companies have an inherent cutthroat atmosphere where you cannot rely on anyone. Andrew Lawrence, working in a law firm in Seattle, remarks, "If you share anything personal, it gets all over the office and it's used against you in every way imaginable."
There is a thin line between what can and cannot be disclosed in the office. Ultimately, you are the one who has to decide.
PAYAL AGARWAL
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