Published on Wednesday, Jul 04, 2007
A manager, Mr. X, and his subordinate, Ms. Y, are squabbling over the latter’s complaint of lack of proper performance feedback. Ms. Y changes tack with another accusation that the permitted leave is ‘awfully’ less while Mr. X defends that it is in fact more than industry norms. Again, shifting stance, he derisively scorns, ‘You never ever get your work in on time’.
Here we go again… it’s another classic case of the ongoing struggle for power! The battle lines are clearly drawn. Neither is willing to budge an inch.
What’s more, such constant showdowns (over something or the other) mark their interactions almost every day.
Power struggles are as old as mankind with an almost unshakeable stronghold in all our relationships – be it parent-child, husband-wife, teacher-student or manager-employee. The timeless tug of war is more pronounced in the workplace, as the power imbalance with peers or superiors and the resultant forceful behaviour creates supreme power struggles. Everyone wants to get their own way, which translates into endless unpleasant exchanges that scream, ’I am important’.
The stage is set for a tenacious battle to dominate and exert influence. Perpetrators are caught up in their own self-importance and insecurity while the victim adamantly refuses to surrender control. Ego-driven issues for both organisational and hierarchical power struggles can range from conflict of values, organisational conditions and work expectations to basic leadership styles.
The fact of the matter is that both think they are right. In fact ‘being right’ becomes more important than achieving efficiency. If left unchecked, the problem escalates, widening the gap between the warring camps.
A top psychotherapist, Mark Gorkin outlines, “Powerlessness - real or imagined - is one of the major causes of frustration, stress and burnout.
When people feel that they have no power even over their own daily work schedules, the results are instantly stressful”. Per se, power abuse and the following struggle for power breeds anger and resentment. Manipulation becomes the name of the game, thus marring internal operations with mounting fear, mistrust, strife and dissatisfaction.
Staving off
Being stuck in a power struggle is akin to losing a battle for both parties and is bound to create an interminable deadlock. So, here’s how to defuse the clashes before they spin out of control:
Lend an attentive ear – Let the employee or colleague have his say. Carefully listening to his rants will make him feel ‘heard’ and ‘understood’ which in itself is half the problem solved.
On the same page – Observe his words and actions to pick out the basic theme in the behaviour pattern.
Deciphering the underlying message behind the belligerent struggle like lack of responsibility, excess workload, salary demands, differences of opinion or other unresolved conflicts will help you to understand the opponent’s key motivations and feelings.
Different perspective – Do not let your emotions overcome your thinking process. They will further aggravate the struggle and may even affect your performance.
Instead, objectively concentrate on the core needs that have been revealed to you and help the other party understand the issues that trigger his resistance/resentment. As renowned psychologist, Dr. Hoffman explains, “The gist of ending the power struggle is getting away from being emotionally reactive. No one wins in those situations. But by working together to establish and meet your mutual needs can create and maintain a strong, positive relationship”.
Constructive confrontation – Acknowledge the power struggle and talk about it calmly without trying to intimidate him or exploiting the power differential. Use observational comments and ‘I’ statements instead of blam ing. For instance, “I noticed that something is bothering you, I am concerned,” will go a long way in mollifying opinions.
Tread the neutral zone – Describe the problem in a specific and tactful manner sans any judgmental overtones.
Disarm him with partial agreement, ‘You may be right!’ Then explain the effects of the problem and clearly communicate your needs, desires and expectations.
Establishing a common responsibility and mutual benefit can subdue the hostility and get him to ally with you over the big picture.
Future-oriented – Avoid negative thoughts. Instead try to shift your mind (and his too) to behavioural changes and effective resolutions.
Think in terms of how you can together resolve the situation beneficially. For instance, ask him what he would like you to do differently and what he is willing to concede in exchange.
Similarly, question yourself what you are prepared to do to accommodate the differences.
Shift the spotlight – Remember that the employee maybe following the dictum ‘being offensive is the best defence’.
Placate his need to battle for supremacy. For this you need to provide structured opportunities to earn control, responsibility or autonomy. This will channel his anger, frustration and antagonism into cooperative and creative action.
Else, the organisation can also call on professional mediators to resolve the conflict with interactive exercises that garner commitment to practical actions.
They will work on keeping the power disparity within reasonable limits, thus creating a balanced and constructive employee-manager relationship.
All said and done, remember that resolving the dysfunctional power struggle with timely, systematic leadership can prevent it from turning into a destructive personal war.
Here we go again… it’s another classic case of the ongoing struggle for power! The battle lines are clearly drawn. Neither is willing to budge an inch.
What’s more, such constant showdowns (over something or the other) mark their interactions almost every day.
Power struggles are as old as mankind with an almost unshakeable stronghold in all our relationships – be it parent-child, husband-wife, teacher-student or manager-employee. The timeless tug of war is more pronounced in the workplace, as the power imbalance with peers or superiors and the resultant forceful behaviour creates supreme power struggles. Everyone wants to get their own way, which translates into endless unpleasant exchanges that scream, ’I am important’.
The stage is set for a tenacious battle to dominate and exert influence. Perpetrators are caught up in their own self-importance and insecurity while the victim adamantly refuses to surrender control. Ego-driven issues for both organisational and hierarchical power struggles can range from conflict of values, organisational conditions and work expectations to basic leadership styles.
The fact of the matter is that both think they are right. In fact ‘being right’ becomes more important than achieving efficiency. If left unchecked, the problem escalates, widening the gap between the warring camps.
A top psychotherapist, Mark Gorkin outlines, “Powerlessness - real or imagined - is one of the major causes of frustration, stress and burnout.
When people feel that they have no power even over their own daily work schedules, the results are instantly stressful”. Per se, power abuse and the following struggle for power breeds anger and resentment. Manipulation becomes the name of the game, thus marring internal operations with mounting fear, mistrust, strife and dissatisfaction.
Staving off
Being stuck in a power struggle is akin to losing a battle for both parties and is bound to create an interminable deadlock. So, here’s how to defuse the clashes before they spin out of control:
Lend an attentive ear – Let the employee or colleague have his say. Carefully listening to his rants will make him feel ‘heard’ and ‘understood’ which in itself is half the problem solved.
On the same page – Observe his words and actions to pick out the basic theme in the behaviour pattern.
Deciphering the underlying message behind the belligerent struggle like lack of responsibility, excess workload, salary demands, differences of opinion or other unresolved conflicts will help you to understand the opponent’s key motivations and feelings.
Different perspective – Do not let your emotions overcome your thinking process. They will further aggravate the struggle and may even affect your performance.
Instead, objectively concentrate on the core needs that have been revealed to you and help the other party understand the issues that trigger his resistance/resentment. As renowned psychologist, Dr. Hoffman explains, “The gist of ending the power struggle is getting away from being emotionally reactive. No one wins in those situations. But by working together to establish and meet your mutual needs can create and maintain a strong, positive relationship”.
Constructive confrontation – Acknowledge the power struggle and talk about it calmly without trying to intimidate him or exploiting the power differential. Use observational comments and ‘I’ statements instead of blam ing. For instance, “I noticed that something is bothering you, I am concerned,” will go a long way in mollifying opinions.
Tread the neutral zone – Describe the problem in a specific and tactful manner sans any judgmental overtones.
Disarm him with partial agreement, ‘You may be right!’ Then explain the effects of the problem and clearly communicate your needs, desires and expectations.
Establishing a common responsibility and mutual benefit can subdue the hostility and get him to ally with you over the big picture.
Future-oriented – Avoid negative thoughts. Instead try to shift your mind (and his too) to behavioural changes and effective resolutions.
Think in terms of how you can together resolve the situation beneficially. For instance, ask him what he would like you to do differently and what he is willing to concede in exchange.
Similarly, question yourself what you are prepared to do to accommodate the differences.
Shift the spotlight – Remember that the employee maybe following the dictum ‘being offensive is the best defence’.
Placate his need to battle for supremacy. For this you need to provide structured opportunities to earn control, responsibility or autonomy. This will channel his anger, frustration and antagonism into cooperative and creative action.
Else, the organisation can also call on professional mediators to resolve the conflict with interactive exercises that garner commitment to practical actions.
They will work on keeping the power disparity within reasonable limits, thus creating a balanced and constructive employee-manager relationship.
All said and done, remember that resolving the dysfunctional power struggle with timely, systematic leadership can prevent it from turning into a destructive personal war.
PAYAL CHANANIA
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